For years, it controlled me. I felt dirty, ashamed and incapable of pursuing what I wanted in life. I’d been crying out for years but nothing ever changed. I was addicted to online porn and I was desperate for God to come through for me.
Many people would tell me, “You just need to give it to God.” But that didn’t click for me. I was desperate for acceptance and identity and I didn’t believe God could fill that void in my life. I lost my dad when I was two so it was hard for me to understand God as a loving Father. Then it all began to change for me. One day in Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry I experienced God as my Father. His love washed over me and in that moment my heart and eyes were opened to truth and freedom. The scale had tipped. My heart’s desire began to turn towards the love of my Father rather than the urge to fill my need for love and acceptance with pornorgraphy.
After I encountered God as my loving Father, I woke up one morning and discovered I no longer had the urge to view pornography. God had delivered me from my addiction to porn! I now live with joy instead of shame, confidence instead of insecurity. I have new trust in God’s power to help me live a pure and free life.
My freedom from porn was the beginning of total transformation in every area of my life. My whole life I relied on compulsive eating to get me through each day. That addiction is also gone! When I realized the Holy Spirit can comfort me in a way food never can, losing weight became easy. In less than nine months, I lost eighty pounds! I had also been repressing all my negative emotions and God broke down all the walls in my heart. It was like the icing on the cake when tears finally started rolling down my face for the first time in six years. My friends and family hardly recognize me and keep saying I look different. I know they’re not only referring to my weight.